Monday, June 15, 2009

Troubles and self-mummifying monks

I noticed today that this blog is being victimized by robots who are trying to sell people things.  They have names like ndghdspoign, and they post links to their websites that sell generic Prozac.  This is annoying, but not so annoying that I would try to mummify myself.

Today I learned about Japan’s self-mummifying monks, who are amazing.  Apparently there are loads of these in Japan, and even more who have Tried and Failed.

For three years the priests would eat a special diet consisting only of nuts and seeds, while taking part in a regimen of rigorous physical activity that stripped them of their body fat. They then ate only bark and roots for another three years and began drinking a poisonous tea made from the sap of the Urushi tree, which contains Urushiol (same stuff that makes poison ivy), normally used to lacquer bowls. This caused vomiting and a rapid loss of bodily fluids. Finally, a self-mummifying monk would lock himself in a stone tomb barely larger than his body, where he would not move from the lotus position. His only connection to the outside world was an air tube and a bell. Each day he rang a bell to let those outside know that he was still alive. When the bell stopped ringing, the tube was removed and the tomb sealed.  Source

Dead. On his own terms.

I think that if I ever mummified myself I would pose like a fashion model.  That way I’d be the most popular mummy in the museum.  Everyone would say “Oh la la, look how skinny that model is.”  They would be shocked to find out that I actually mummified myself and that I was not a real fashion model.

Seriously though the more I learn about these Japanese spiritual trends the more I am thinking that they take themselves a bit too seriously.  I mean really.  Mummifying yourself?  Just chill, people, you will die soon enough and then your pals can mummify you.  These are Buddhists who have never heard of the Middle Way.